I was contemplating the issue of not having enough time. What does that really mean? Does it mean I forgot to set the alarm and woke up late and then fell behind on everything? Does it mean my day was taken over by unforeseeable events and I couldn’t get to where I needed to be to complete a task? These things will happen. Something will always happen. I may or may not have control of it but is it truly that? Or is it the lack of motivation to pursue something, the lack of desire to achieve it? I wondered so much about this.
Am I not motivated enough to accomplish my goals? Am I simply going about my days having given up the cause, what ever that may have been? I do tend to complicate things, over think them. I do tend to linger a little where I’m not supposed to. I call it surviving. Hmmm… I’ve quite a bit going on right now. I feel it a huge load on my shoulders but… why should that stop me? I am a problem solver, a doer, an accomplisher of things… stuff. Why should anything stop me really? It shouldn’t.
Whatever time I have I should use it. I should know what to do with it. Life is made up of moments, little fragments of what could be. I am the architect of those fragments. I shouldn’t even be writing about this but it is so helpful to let this out. I’m bursting. Whatever little I accomplished today, anything, is after all an accomplishment. It did get done and I am writing… something. I was successful, productive… I was able to build on those fragments and something did happen. It’s done. I should continue, persist… I can’t back down. I won’t. I’m needed, wanted… those fragments won’t evolve on their own. I’ve plenty of time just… not right now.