Breathing in petrichor

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Walked out yesterday morning… breathed in the flesh that rain had left on my life.  I wondered in the scent that so lavishly adorned my dreams just then.  I thought for sure I was going to shed tears and dwell on my past mistakes… less successful endeavors I wanted so much to have accomplished by now.  I had no idea that I was capable of putting such melancholy aside to let great joy in.  But… I was and I did.  I embraced the sunshine feelings and let them rule my day.  Smiles condensed into tight hugs and long friendly conversations from peers I barely knew but in passing or working together.  I even felt the warmth of family that barely spoke to me but reached out to say a kind word or two.  Such a surprise.  Yes…

I don’t know why I doubted the joy I would feel.  It’s me, in my past.  I mean… I was touched by love long before I came out for a breath.  I was embraced by warm tender affection long before I got out of bed at all.  That is the platform that led me to one of the best days I’ve ever had.  When people touch you so deeply that you’re forever changed… that.  Forever changed I am.  I am not the same as I was a year ago.  Is that bad?  No.  It’s good… very good.  My love has taught me that.  He has brought me to a place I’d never thought I’d be.  Now I’m drenched in the reality that my path has just begun to take its true shape.  I must bend with it and forge its curvature to fit me.  I will embrace it, follow it devotedly.  I will etch myself within and carve out my new life slowly renewing myself each time.  I will be renewed, yes… like the earth after soaking in the sweetness of a rain long after it’s gone.

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