Writer’s Life #3 – Time

I was contemplating the issue of not having enough time.  What does that really mean?  Does it mean I forgot to set the alarm and woke up late and then fell behind on everything?  Does it mean my day was taken over by unforeseeable events and I couldn’t get to where I needed to be to complete a task?  These things will happen.  Something will always happen.  I may or may not have control of it but is it truly that?  Or is it the lack of motivation to pursue something, the lack of desire to achieve it?  I wondered so much about this.

Am I not motivated enough to accomplish my goals?  Am I simply going about my days having given up the cause, what ever that may have been?  I do tend to complicate things, over think them.  I do tend to linger a little where I’m not supposed to.  I call it surviving.  Hmmm… I’ve quite a bit going on right now.  I feel it a huge load on my shoulders but… why should that stop me?  I am a problem solver, a doer, an accomplisher of things… stuff.  Why should anything stop me really?  It shouldn’t.

Whatever time I have I should use it.  I should know what to do with it. Life is made up of moments, little fragments of what could be.  I am the architect of those fragments.  I shouldn’t even be writing about this but it is so helpful to let this out.  I’m bursting.  Whatever little I accomplished today, anything, is after all an accomplishment.  It did get done and I am writing… something.  I was successful, productive… I was able to build on those fragments and something did happen.  It’s done.  I should continue, persist… I can’t back down.  I won’t.  I’m needed, wanted… those fragments won’t evolve on their own.  I’ve plenty of time just… not right now.

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